The pendulam of my mind.

Last year this time: Ecstatic kirtans wafting in from the temple into our room making their presence felt with the slight vibrations under our feet... Ma (Goverdhan Lila mataji) and me sitting and wondering how it is the new year already. Almost ritualistically we used to talk about how inconcievably fortunate we are to be in the dham (me more so, since I got to hear her lovely realizations to hear almost every other evening).

This year this time: Annoying, ice-cream van sounding phone's constant ringing wafting into my room as I write this. "MT container has to be picked up from LG Yard, Arshad....Take the Bill of entry from Jaymurugan at Customs..... Prakash, are you still inside the port?"

And yet......

" .... the trees in Vrindavan do not grow straight up. The taller they grow, the further they get from Krishna's lotus footprints, so ...the branches bend down. As they bend down, they create a tiny room almost.....Vrindavan forests full of these rooms called kunja...." (paraphrased)
- HG Sarvabhauma Prabhu, 26th December 2008, Damodardesh

How can I not experience the beauty of the dham when such devotees describe it so sweetly, you can taste the nectar? How can I complain about not being in the dham when I get the association of many such wonderful devotees here every week?

And then....

I can't hear the holy name 24/7 though... There is no soft glow of the deities at 4:30 in the morning with the most soothing, "Samsara dava...nalalidha loka....."

Sigh,

cancalam hi manah krsna
pramathi balavad drdham
tasyaham nigraham manye
vayor iva su-duskaram

"For the mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Krsna, and to subdue it is, it seems to me, more difficult than controlling the wind."

This post is so random...just like my mind.