It was such a proud big brother moment for him as he walked in with the brightest smile ever, his eyes just sparkling with joy at holding a small baby. It then hit me.....my little boys are not so little anymore! Damodar suddenly looked like such a mature older boy - when did that happen??
I have always joked to everyone that I must be the only mother counting down days till Damodar and Sridhar start college. Suddenly I'm not so sure I'm looking forward for that day. I suddenly feel a loss and a twinge of sadness that in a few years they will not be dependent on me anymore. When just a year ago I was complaining with such exasperation, "Oh when will they be able to take a bath and eat on their own??!! "
Now they do and I feel a little lost.
Being born as a woman definitely has us as the disadvantaged sex. We see that even more these days with the #metoo movement, unfair wages etc. In spite of being disadvantaged, women always manage to be strong, focused and be successful. While I do feel the this disadvantages sometimes, when I look at my kids, I truly truly feel so blessed! Who else in this material world can experience the closest thing to spiritual love other than a mother?? And I feel so special that I can actually get a glimpse of what true unconditional spiritual love can be like. It feels so empowering!