Bliss in Krishna consciousness comes in various forms and through various means. We are usually accustomed to experiencing bliss only in a particular way. You could be that kind of devotee who 'feels' it - that ecstasy, that pure joy, the feeling that your soul is completely drenched in satisfaction of being connected to Krishna only by book distribution, waking up early to chant rounds, an ecstatic dancing kirtan, a meditative absorbing kirtan, dressing deities, doing an arati, being involved in management during a huge festival etc etc - or a mixture of any of the above.
Being an addict to this soul-satisfying ecstasy, joy, bliss - we often tend to get attached to only that particular service which gives us this bliss. And then, like opening our eyes to a new dimension, Krishna somehow throws us into something else. According to our level of maturity, we experience the bliss slowly or immediately. But when our stubborn mind releases its claws on old attachments - oh krishna, we realize the actual meaning of the term 'ever-increasing' bliss. It is a new dimension of joy in KC. "Bliss in KC is ever-increasing".
Today, I experienced a new dimension of pleasure and satisfaction in Krishna consciousness. I did not get my usual 'high' from being absorbed in Kirtan. Nor did I realize some brilliant philosophical angle by listening to a Maharaj or senior devotee. I was not remotely connected with doing anything for the deities. I did not dance ecstatically in a super crazy kirtan. I did not make garlands.
I served the Vaishnavas.
....my soul is super-drenched in satisfaction and bliss right now. :) Thank you everyone for accepting our invitation, coming home and giving us an opportunity to experience this bliss.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Samsara
Destined I am for tears
tears of misery and helplessness
Uncontrolled tears that have no reason
Except the fact I swim in the ocean of samsara
tears of misery and helplessness
Uncontrolled tears that have no reason
Except the fact I swim in the ocean of samsara
Sunday, January 10, 2010
First and second loves.
It's funny how everyone here in Damodardesh associate Kirtans with me.
This was the scene in Atlanta:
It is Saturday around 9a.m after the morning program. Time for Mrdanga class with Vedasara.
"Where is Anuradha?"
"She is in the pujari making garlands..."
It is the Sunday feast night and you can see and hear all the smiles and 'haribols' going back and forth. It is 'socializing' time......that is prasadam time.
"Where is Anuradha"?
"Oh she is on the altar with Madhavi helping her do the evening service"
(Yup, Madhavi always maganged to lure me to help her on the altar even though it was not my day to do evening seva :) ......and i'll always be grateful for that!)
It is time for the Sunday night kirtans. And I would be scrubbing the altar or putting away necklaces, earrings as Uttam Prabhu drowned everyone in Mayapur mellows :) Oh I would also completely lose myself in UttamPrabhu's transcendental tunes......but I would be doing so in the pujari room as the holy names waft in through the doors.
(Shhhh....but it also used to be my excuse.... "Can you help us wash these pots?", "Nope, sorry, have to do the evening arati!" :D )
It was quite hard for me in Dubai initially. No temple. No Deities. What seva would I do? Now I realize my immaturity during my 'depressed' days. My only solace was turning to my second love - Kirtans.
When I was talking to Mandali recently in Chowpatty, she expressed that one of her realizations when she wasn't able to do as much deity worship in India, was that it was an opportunity to internalize deity worship. Women can't be on the altar doing abhishek, but who can stop you offering a manasa abhishek to Krishna?! :)
And I realized another aspect of deity worship! What I was doing as my 'second' love in Damodardesh was really just another aspect of my first love. So now, I regularly peform deity worship in Damodardesh. I regularly serve the deities - the deities of the holy name. Kirtan is a beautiful way of internalizing worship. Getting absorbed in Kirtan, meditating on his form with the holy name just engulfing you.... Staying in Damodardesh has opened my eyes to another beautiful form of the Lord - his transcendental name....
"Nama-bhajana is not bound by any rule—the holy name is beyond all virtuous acts—He is spiritual—He is virility and luster in a person. All the Vedas have been manifested from this holy name. The holy name is bliss, the holy name is ananda. We can excellently be devoted to Him. The holy name is worship and is to be worshiped; Your feet are to be held in veneration. "
Kirtaniya sada hari... :)
This was the scene in Atlanta:
It is Saturday around 9a.m after the morning program. Time for Mrdanga class with Vedasara.
"Where is Anuradha?"
"She is in the pujari making garlands..."
It is the Sunday feast night and you can see and hear all the smiles and 'haribols' going back and forth. It is 'socializing' time......that is prasadam time.
"Where is Anuradha"?
"Oh she is on the altar with Madhavi helping her do the evening service"
(Yup, Madhavi always maganged to lure me to help her on the altar even though it was not my day to do evening seva :) ......and i'll always be grateful for that!)
It is time for the Sunday night kirtans. And I would be scrubbing the altar or putting away necklaces, earrings as Uttam Prabhu drowned everyone in Mayapur mellows :) Oh I would also completely lose myself in UttamPrabhu's transcendental tunes......but I would be doing so in the pujari room as the holy names waft in through the doors.
(Shhhh....but it also used to be my excuse.... "Can you help us wash these pots?", "Nope, sorry, have to do the evening arati!" :D )
It was quite hard for me in Dubai initially. No temple. No Deities. What seva would I do? Now I realize my immaturity during my 'depressed' days. My only solace was turning to my second love - Kirtans.
When I was talking to Mandali recently in Chowpatty, she expressed that one of her realizations when she wasn't able to do as much deity worship in India, was that it was an opportunity to internalize deity worship. Women can't be on the altar doing abhishek, but who can stop you offering a manasa abhishek to Krishna?! :)
And I realized another aspect of deity worship! What I was doing as my 'second' love in Damodardesh was really just another aspect of my first love. So now, I regularly peform deity worship in Damodardesh. I regularly serve the deities - the deities of the holy name. Kirtan is a beautiful way of internalizing worship. Getting absorbed in Kirtan, meditating on his form with the holy name just engulfing you.... Staying in Damodardesh has opened my eyes to another beautiful form of the Lord - his transcendental name....
"Nama-bhajana is not bound by any rule—the holy name is beyond all virtuous acts—He is spiritual—He is virility and luster in a person. All the Vedas have been manifested from this holy name. The holy name is bliss, the holy name is ananda. We can excellently be devoted to Him. The holy name is worship and is to be worshiped; Your feet are to be held in veneration. "
- Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Hari Nama-cintamani
Kirtaniya sada hari... :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Gopidots
Gopidots.
Scent of rosewater making me heady
bathing your glowing white body
The silence of the altar
Hum of the mahamantra
It is just you and me
as I play with your skirts
Which earrings would you like today ?
The ache is back my dear Rani
Is some of that mercy saved for me?
One desire.
One day again....just to hold that brush
be absorbed in those patterns.......just to paint gopidots on your moonlike face.....When?
Scent of rosewater making me heady
bathing your glowing white body
The silence of the altar
Hum of the mahamantra
It is just you and me
as I play with your skirts
Which earrings would you like today ?
The ache is back my dear Rani
Is some of that mercy saved for me?
One desire.
One day again....just to hold that brush
be absorbed in those patterns.......just to paint gopidots on your moonlike face.....When?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Forgive!
"We brahmanas are worshipable by others only due to our quality of forgiveness. It is through this quality of forgiveness that Lord Brahma has achieved the post of master of the entire universe. The Supreme Personality of Godhead Lord Hari, the remover of obstacles, becomes pleased with those who are forgiving. Forgiveness is illuminating like the sun, and cultivation of this quality is the brahmana’s duty.”
- Srimad Bhagavatam 9.15.39 - 41
You think you have forgiven and forgotten and then the bad taste in your mouth creeps in along with all the memories of unpleasantness and distress. Brahmana? Ha.
You think you have forgiven and forgotten and then the bad taste in your mouth creeps in along with all the memories of unpleasantness and distress. Brahmana? Ha.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thread of the holy name
Meshed in my short sightedness
Influenced by expectations
Lamentations of ignorance
a thread of sanity holding me
the thread of the holy names
Hope binds this thread to me
Hope that this thread will lead
to that world of Krishna prema...
Chant.Chant.Chant.
Influenced by expectations
Lamentations of ignorance
a thread of sanity holding me
the thread of the holy names
Hope binds this thread to me
Hope that this thread will lead
to that world of Krishna prema...
trinad api sunicena
taror api sahishnuna
amanina manadena
kirtaniyah sada harihi
Chant.Chant.Chant.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Leisure Pleasure
lei·sure: : freedom provided by the cessation of activities; especially : time free from work or duties
I have been missing this little noun for eons now. Finally I've caught a hold of this elusive little thing today - today being a holiday for Eid. This is such an interesting definition of leisure. Are we ever free from activity? The very nature of the soul is to be active so where do you draw the line between activities that count as work and activities that count as pleasure? When we engage in activies of pleasure, it becomes leisure.
In yesterday's program, Yadav prabhu made such beautiful points. He mentioned that one of the Radha raman pujaris from Vrindavan once said that, "Krishna gives himself to us in our old age, if we give him our youth".
And then I realized how I'm slowly crossing this stage of 'youth'. After my wedding in December, my day is just going to get busier. I will have officially become an adult with so many responsibilities to juggle. How to juggle? How do I immerse myself in the Lord's name, pastimes, service with a household to take care of? How am I going to give my youth to Krishna, when I am struggling with paperwork, phonecalls etc from dawn to dusk?
Well, here is where I get lucky :) Even though the world seems to get too big to handle, my day seems filled with meangingless phonecalls and paperwork - offering all this to Krishna makes it seem so much lighter at the end of the day. Leisure? Well, who needs it when you are blissful in your busy day anyway. Trick is to link my meaningless paperwork to Krishna.......well not so successful sometimes, but I'm getting there. It's going to get easier to do this when I have a half hour of kirtan together with family to look forward to. Or 15 minutes of Bhagavatam reading. And really, the light at the end of the tunnel - Mayapur.
Thank you Nitai. For everything. :)
I have been missing this little noun for eons now. Finally I've caught a hold of this elusive little thing today - today being a holiday for Eid. This is such an interesting definition of leisure. Are we ever free from activity? The very nature of the soul is to be active so where do you draw the line between activities that count as work and activities that count as pleasure? When we engage in activies of pleasure, it becomes leisure.
In yesterday's program, Yadav prabhu made such beautiful points. He mentioned that one of the Radha raman pujaris from Vrindavan once said that, "Krishna gives himself to us in our old age, if we give him our youth".
And then I realized how I'm slowly crossing this stage of 'youth'. After my wedding in December, my day is just going to get busier. I will have officially become an adult with so many responsibilities to juggle. How to juggle? How do I immerse myself in the Lord's name, pastimes, service with a household to take care of? How am I going to give my youth to Krishna, when I am struggling with paperwork, phonecalls etc from dawn to dusk?
Well, here is where I get lucky :) Even though the world seems to get too big to handle, my day seems filled with meangingless phonecalls and paperwork - offering all this to Krishna makes it seem so much lighter at the end of the day. Leisure? Well, who needs it when you are blissful in your busy day anyway. Trick is to link my meaningless paperwork to Krishna.......well not so successful sometimes, but I'm getting there. It's going to get easier to do this when I have a half hour of kirtan together with family to look forward to. Or 15 minutes of Bhagavatam reading. And really, the light at the end of the tunnel - Mayapur.
Thank you Nitai. For everything. :)
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