Monday, August 24, 2009

Tired.



A small number, four seems
Only four defects innate within
Miseries untold it causes
Incapability overwhelms me
binds me

Cause of misery to one entity?
No. Helplessly I am led to
cause misery to millions
Only four defects they are.

I am tired Nitai
tired of this bad bargain
tired of my conditionings
tired of my imperfect service.

Unqualified, yet I beg
to make that day mine
when your form, glories and name
become inseparable from my breath...
inseparable from my mind...
inseparable from ME...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Two monsters

Two monsters

I begged, borrowed and stole
that mercy caused by serving your lotus feet
Undeserving, I blissfully swam in that ocean
drinking in and savoring the taste of spiritual bliss

Carelessness. Ungratefulness.
The two ugly monsters that dwell within
Devoured the little mercy that came my way
Not a glimpse of the spiritual bliss they reveal
Those horrible monsters shadow everything

People say, "Its the thought and love that counts"
A friend said, "True love ensures its perfection that counts"
Perfection does not happen when endeavors
are tainted with those monsters of mine
Prabhupad gave us the panacea - Chant!

Lamentably this vicious cycle entangles me
What to do if my endeavor to chant
is also shadowed by these ugly monsters?
Hence my plea to you Gopinath....

Focus, concentration and sincerity.
Slowly but steadily the monsters will be slain
if your names are chanted with
Focus, concentration and sincerity,

O gopinath,
Help me chant
Help me purify myself
Help me slay these monsters
Help me my dear Gopinath....

"...another kind of distraction occurs when one is too eager to complete the fixed number of holy names even at the sacrifice of quality. One must therefore always insure that he chants his rounds sincerely. Also, one should better improve the quality of his chanting rather than try to increase his daily number of rounds for show. The name of the Lord should be always be pronounced distinctly. Only by the grace of the Lord can this be achieved. Thus one should pray to the Lord that he never falls victim to the wiles of the illusion of distraction, and that he can continue to taste the full nectar of the holy name." - Srila Bhaktivinod Thakur, Sri Harinama Cintamani

Saturday, August 1, 2009

FOLK - Friends of Lord Krishna : Damodardesh

We just finished Nrsimha Arati and were sitting down to eat our prasad, plan our next kartal lesson, exchanging tunes, enjoying some Maha prasad and so on when Sri Vallabh prabhu with his commanding presence walked in.

"Are we all ready to start our Janmastami meeting?" his voice resounded in Flat 607.

We all quickly finished whatever was left of our sandwiches and meekly sat down on one side in a group of 10 eagerly anticipating what sevas we would get to do on one of the most auspicious days in our Vaishnava calendar.

"So what can the youth get into? " And Sri vallabh prabhu started suggesting a few sevas. And in his usual humorous manner he encouraged us,
"All you youth should take up everything, get into it and takeover. Let us baldies and oldies take a seat back. What say everyone? Shouldn't we let the youth takeover?"

And then came the damper on our enthusiasm and eagerness, "Prabhu, I don't think they are ready yet, they need to be held back a little. Their sins need to be purified first"

Honestly, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Thankfully Sri Vallabh prabhu immediately retorted with, "They are held by Krishna and by doing seva they will automatically get cleansed. We cannot wait for the waves to stop before going for a swim."

I feel extremely sorry that we have potrayed such an image.
I feel sorry that I have such a big false ego which got a blow.

There are so many sincere souls in the youth who deserve to be encouraged and nurtured in KC rather than be discouraged. I humbly request senior devotees to take the time to find out about so many of us who have the spark of KC and just need a little fanning

I offer my obeisances to all of the youth from who I learn something new every week as I associate with them:

Laxmi - her devotion to her deities ? She is a perfect example of a true pujari. Her eagerness to serve, to cook for the devotees, to preach to all the youth, her passion to learn kirtans and sing........

Samiksha - who started chanting 16 rounds since she's been back from Mayapur. Who shed tears as she was leaving....how many of us can shed a tear for the holy dham in seperation?

Natasha - who voluntarily transcribes Radhanath Swami's lectures online for iskcondesiretree.com. How much nectar does she absorb by doing this service?? Who is so eager for a kirtan program, to chant to advance in KC to serve, to preach...

Namrata (chotrani) - who tirelessly arranges for prasadam EVERY week for the youth class... who is everready to serve in whatever way she can....

Namrata (keshwani) - on whose mind Krishna constantly dances :) in the form of kirtans, quotes , you tube videos ...... someone whose enthusiasm rubs off on me when I see her.....

Ashish - who has taken up to KC and chanting like lighting fire to dry wood. In the short few months, he's already handling the book table, accounts ...learning Mrdanga from Yadav prabhu (oh yeah we're getting our band ready :)) been to Mayapur.......

Vicky prabhu - who tirelessly comes to class every Friday just to enthuse all of us in kirtan and share his wonderful knowledge.

Sneha aka Bunty :) - who never misses associating with us, responsibly handles her seva and tirelessly calls up every one of us every week to attend programs

Pavan - who is our little pujari :) His love for Radha Madhav - something I need to get an ounce of. I still remember how excited and ecstatic he was when I got him some Tulasi from the feet of Madhava from Mayapur....

Simi - who has gone through a lot of harships materially and has constantly been attracted to Krishna and is another example of fire to dry wood...

Roshni - who always keeps the class alive by asking questions :) Her excellent presentations and videos... Her sincerity to read Prahbupad's books and gain knowledge....

Keshavi - who has definitely been a devotee in her past life :) She grasps playing instruments and singing kirtans so easily!

and of course the backbone of our class - H.G Vasudev Gopal Das :) who at the age of 12 was the only boy in children's class who did not raise his hand up when Sri Vallabh prabhu asked everyone, "who wants to be liberated and go back to Krishna?"
why?
"Because..." He answered, "If all the devotees go back to Krishna then who will stay back and tell about Krishna to others?"
My full dandavats to you VGD for contantly working to preach to spread Prabhupad's movement among us disillusioned youth in Dubai.

And my gratitude goes out to Sri Vallabh prabhu, Nand Prabhu and ESPECIALLY Shuba mataji for creating this opportunity for all of youth to come together every week and inspire each other to progress in KC.

Dandavats!

P.S: I've written this in one shot and apologize to all the youth whom I have left out! If I have left you out then please come and do seva for youth class and Janmastami so your name will be up there right next to VGD ;)